I give up.
I’m not giving up completely, just giving up on him.
It has now been three weeks since the last time I heard from The Joker. And I’m done.
Today, finally, we were both on Facebook at the same time, so I messaged him on Chat. I consider this to be a more reliable and instantaneous form of communication than a message would be [even though I sent him one of those, too].
All I sent him was a simple “Hi.” I did not ask for an explanation and there were no accusations made. What did I get in return?
I got silence in return.
Before, I was worried [with a small side of annoyed]. Now, I’m pissed. And sad.
The Joker is supposed to be the mature one in this ‘friendship’ [I no longer consider it a ‘relationship’]. And yet, he can’t even give me a response. So, with a bit of encouragement from a friend, I told him that I would no longer bother him, but that I thought with his age and maturity that he would at least have the decency to answer me.
The sassosaurus in me showed, just a bit.
If he had wanted to stop talking to me, that’s fine. But, he didn’t even have the respect for me to say that. Instead, he ignored me. I always say, I would rather be told no, than to not receive an answer. Even though not receiving an answer, in essence, is a no, I would rather the person have respect for me and [pardon my english] grow the balls to tell me to my face.
So there is my anger, but I’m still sad.
I’m sad because I miss what we had. *Hides face* He was the first boyguyman to ever show that kind of interest in me. At least, the first one I knew about. As a twenty year old, I’m embarassed by that. And he made me feel amazing, and that’s gone.
My friend told me I would find another one. Doubtfully, I replied, “But it took so long to find the first one.” I do believe that I will find someone else who is interested in me, someone better [eventually].
Why does it have to take so long?
But, as long as it takes,