’30 Days of Truth’ –Day 1

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I first read about the ’30 Days of Truth’ over on Hope’s blog. I’ve been trying to come up with good blog topics, so I figured this may be the best way to start it up. You can see the full list here.

And for anyone reading this, I’d love to hear your truths. If you care to share, leave me a comment

Day 1 — Something you hate about yourself.

Well, that’s a loaded question. I want to refrain from completely getting down on myself, so I’ll stay away from the materialistic things. I consider those things I want to and will change, but I don’t hate them, because as long as they are a part of me, I will own them.

There is something I truly hate about myself, though.

My anxiety.

It keeps me from doing things that I truly want to do.

Whether it be tell a guy I’m interested in him [because he may reject me], or go on the scary rollercoaster [because it could get stuck], or finally enroll myself in school [because I could pick the wrong major or flat out fail], the fear stops me.

Apparently, I get it from my dad.

Either way, I hate it.

I sit here and I go over all of the possible ways that a situation could go, and I come to terms with the possible negative outcomes. I tell myself that if it goes badly, I will survive and I will move on and I will be better for it; but then, when it comes down to it, I get this knot in my stomach and it suffocates me and it suffocates all positive outcomes, and it’s as if that one ‘no’, that one failure, will be the death of me.

But it won’t, I won’t let it. And I fight it. I fight in baby steps, but it’s a fight, nonetheless.

Still, though, it’s something that I wish I didn’t have to fight, because I wish it didn’t exist.

Or, that it was at least something not so strong and frightening.

I hate my anxiety.

So, what do you hate about yourself? Or even, what do you want to change about yourself?

-Aleigh

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